Day From HELL!!!!

Didn't sleep last night so I already knew it wasn't gonna be a good day. But I just had NO idea!! :/

Opened & was by myself til 10:15ish when Cindy came in. Had been run ragged by CRAZY customers already!! Between the phone & a near-deaf old bat & an extremely rude bitch & I dunno...10 or so normal customers...I was ready to go home when she finally got there! :/

Kat started texting around 9:45 but I couldn't get to her til after Cindy got there. There were like 16 texts to read through. *sighs* She was rude & caustic & all over the bit about us being *done*. I basically just shut down. I'm not gonna fight with her over this. She was trying to play the "victim", too. But that doesn't really work when she made a CONSCIOUS choice to contact him & totally hurt those who have been standing by her & still caring about her. She uses the excuse that she's lonely with just me & Ben to talk to. Really?? I wonder if she has ANY clue how lonely she will be when she alienates the both of us finally...?! *sighs*

I never said I was through with her. I just can't trust her enough to be close to her when she's making dumbass choices...choices that hurt me. But she said she handed my leash over to Ben last night. o.0 Not sure HOW I was a part of last night...or why...I wasn't involved in it at all. Ben texted me right before & after it was over...as far as I know. Whatever...

I dunno what's gonna happen. I just know that I can't fight with her. I don't WANT to fight with her. I've had enough of that to last me several lifetimes! Fighting never fixed anything anyway. If she wants forgiveness, she'll most likely get it. But she has to ask for it & be HONEST about it. She needs to seriously sit & think about the things she does, where Andy is concerned. If she decides he is more important than her family...& me...then so be it. She has to make that choice. But this yo-yo fucken roller coaster has got to stop. She's not the only one involved here.

I love her. I always have. A part of me always will. But love isn't enough for her. I've known that for years. Ben loves her, too...otherwise he wouldn't still be there. But what do you do when love isn't enough?? *sighs*

Anyway...the rest of the work day was pretty much just as chaotic as when I was there by myself this morning!! And I'm SO not functioning well, at this point. I need to do laundry. Jennifer wants to call me tonight when she gets off work. o.0 Not sure what that's all about...but whatever. I gotta get up early tomorrow, go to the bank, get gas & be at mom's by 10.

It's almost 7 & I'm pretty certain there'll be no phone call tonight (or any night?)...& I'm currently psyching myself up to deal with that. Ugh. :-( Whatever...I can't fix it. I didn't break it...