Back-Tracking...

Let's just forget what I've been saying/feeling over the last several days. It stops here & reverts. That could possibly change in the future but right now...I'm distressed, hurt & angry.

Kat talked to Andy. I dunno the details. But...she talked to him. In my little world...atm...all that matters is she talked to him. :-(

For a week & a half, I've not gotten to talk to her. Texts have been few & far between. She was home due to snow...then there was Thanksgiving. Didn't get to talk to her cuz she wasn't driving home from work & needing someone to occupy her the whole week. Then was at Ben's parents. I was supposed to get to talk to her Saturday night when I got home from the Burlesque show but...nope. Sunday, her parents were over. Didn't hear from her til I was just about to get off of work today. And that was all about how upset she was & just UGH about stuff...but no details for that either. I missed her call tonight. The one when she was on her way home from work. I missed it...on purpose. I was already hurt that I hadn't gotten to talk to her for a week & a half cuz it didn't suit her...til now. I texted her later & she said she'd call me in a few. She didn't. An hour later, I got the text from Ben...that she'd been in contact with Andy. I sent her a sighing text immediately after & she called but a minute later, she got off the phone...cuz Ben wanted to talk to her. And there began my descent...

Ben just texted that everything was ok now. But, yes, she did, indeed, talk to him. Still no details on the situation. But...right now...what matters to me is...she talked to him!! And didn't tell me. And talked to him...when she wasn't talking to me. o.0 It's a jealousy issue. I'm well aware of that. But it's so much more than that, too. *sighs* Every fucken time Andy becomes an issue...no matter who introduces him...we ALL bleed!! The wound just gets reopened. Yet again...

I hafta be up in 3 hrs. Couldn't sleep...spastic about Andy. And WTF was gonna happen or was happening 3000 miles away from me!! UGH!!! FML...

And I've still yet to hear from her...really?! >.<

I take it all back. I'm reeling it all back in. Going back in the box, buried down a deep well, with a steel-reinforced concrete wall around it. I can't cut the leash but she's gonna have a helluva time finding the end of it for a while. When I hurt...I hide. She knows that better than anyone. And I've got a severe gaping wound atm...