Schuster...

Kelli took him to the vet this morning. Not good news. :/ He's in renal failure. She only told me that vet said to keep him happy & just wait. Make sure he has lots of water. Been researching online. He needs special food, too. He was home when I got home, asleep on the bed, waiting for me. I had to immediately give him kisses!! CRF is progressively terminal. He will die. The time frame is just uncertain. He will get to the point where he'll slip into a coma & just go. I dunno if I can watch him die. In fact, I know I can't!! It's gonna kill me. Hell...I just think about it or talk about it & I start crying...FFS. :/ Judy is willing to take him, if I don't wanna deal with it. I just think he'll go faster if he's alone. So I don't want that to happen either...*sighs heavily*. Just gotta wait & love him while I still can, I guess...

My lower back has been killing me since the moment I got up this morning. I have a feeling it's gonna go out. As of right now, I can barely move. It's been over a yr since it's gone out. And I was down for a week that time. Ugh...SO can't afford that!!!

Mom wants to get me a new phone for xmas. T-Mobile is gonna screw me when I upgrade/renew my contract. I just know it. Tried talking to them today but my mind was on Schu so I'll try again later. Jokingly, I told Kat I was gonna give her my info so she could deal with them for me. ;-p Jokingly. Mostly. Kinda. haha *sighs* I don't deal with people running me over too well. Bleh.

Mama sent 8 fucking boxes to me today via UPS!! WTF?! She'd called last week & said she had some of my old toys & crap she wanted to send to me. I don't fight her so I was like whatever. Didn't think she'd actually DO it!! Nor did I think there'd be so many!!! OMG. Mom is pissed. She told her several times not to send me the crap cuz I don't want it. Ugh. It's ALL crap. And 95% of it isn't even MINE! The Barbies would be ok...if they didn't reek of moth balls!! GAH!! They are still at work. I dunno if I can even get them all in my car. Like...really?! o.0 I couldn't deal with em tonight after work cuz my back was already breaking...

Jenn is...I dunno. I just dunno what to do with her. Not sure about any of it. Just think I really am NOT programmed to be in a relationship. I can't handle the drama that comes with it. And way too much of a fucken loner for it...