Book Club Day...

Sara texted me the other night.  Approached me with a sort of..."couples counseling" theory on dealing with this...whatever it is between us.  I have to say I was taken aback.  A little shocked.  Surprised even.  And...totally against my determination...I even smiled to myself over it.  After EVERYTHING that's happened, my biggest hang-up is that I still WANT her to be the person I thought she was!  *sighs*  That want makes me give in & give her yet another chance to fuck it up.  Argh.  We've been in THIS for so long...I've begged her just to talk to me for so long...I've wanted resolution for so long...but I REALLY don't have much hope left at all.  No hope that she'll actually follow through.  We've not actually started the "counseling" sessions yet...cuz I asked for a couple of days of just having NO FIGHTS...& she needed a couple of days to get her thoughts together...& I'm completely skittish with her anymore (& didn't want to start out with this with negative vibes).  I cannot explain why sometimes I can say something that strikes a good chord in her while other times it means nothing at all.  I cannot explain at ALL why she sometimes says things that make me wonder...or hope.  I cannot explain why, after 4 years of THIS, she keeps coming back.  In all actuality, I probably don't WANT to know why!  o.0  I am a pessimist & my pessimist brain tells me things & doesn't allow me to see anything positive lurking around in there...cuz anything positive that makes me hope...will also shatter me into a million little pieces all over again.  *sighs*

Work was crazy again today.  I am Cindy's babysitter more than I'm anything else.  I'm realizing that more & more each day.  I run myself ragged just keeping up with her!  Plus doing the stuff I need to do.  And let's not forget about the customers!  lol  I am now at the point where I handle 95% of staying on top of inventory, placing the orders/writing them up, checking in arriving orders, putting the new stuff out.  Plus doing magazines!  THIS...all on top of trying to get Anthology up & running & dealing with customers.  Not to mention, I've got Karen, Claire & Lori that I have to micro-manage.  Not Karen so much as the other 2...she more comes to me for input & suggestions & then she goes off & does her thing.  I finally got Ingram linked into Anthology today.  I'm in the process of laying the ground work of our basic info into the program itself.  So I'm pretty close to starting to input inventory.

Book Club was tonight.  :-)  I was so exhausted when I got home at 3...I REALLY just wanted to cancel on going but I'm glad I didn't.  We had a good time!  Of course, we ALWAYS do anyway!  ;-)  But Pat was there & she brought us all goodies from her trip to Ireland!  :D  SOOO jealous about that!  lol  But it was really super cool...she brought us stuff from The Temple Bar District & Trinity College...which Karen Marie Moning's Fever Series is centered around (Shadowfever, that I'm trudging through still...is the 5th/last in the series!)  We had chili, cookies & pie.  lol  And talked...about a myriad of things...as per our MO.  lol

Home by 8:30, now showered & wanting sleep.  lol  Kelli is going to open tomorrow but she's leaving early, I think.  Friday I'll be by myself all day, I'm pretty sure.  And then Kelli will be there Saturday, all day.  I get to sleep late tomorrow...YAY!!  :D

Sleep...Sleep...wherefore art thou, Sleep?!  haha  ;-p