So...I'm scheduled to go to SIBA on the 23rd. With Stacy (maybe?) She doesn't even wanna go at all so I'm not sure why Cindy has her going--I wouldn't waste the money on her going if I were Cindy! o.0 But whatever. Cindy will go every day, of course. Anyway, the 23rd is when they're doing the seminars on Twitter & online marketing. haha
Speaking of work...one day last week, Lara Adrian became a fan of our FB page! :D It has been totally COOL talking to a *celebrity*!! hehehehe I've never read any of her stuff but Amanda says she's pretty awesome! ;-) I don't read anymore...period! lol I never have time for it! ;-p
More regarding work...I hafta cancel the insurance. *sighs* I simply can't afford the premiums. I could always move back to living with my mom & I'd be able to afford a LOT more than I can now...but, yeah...NO, THANKS!!! I enjoy being my own person way too much...I just hafta make better choices...in what I have or can have. :/
Kat put me through a slight panic. It's all ok now though. Well, I guess it is...haven't talked to her in a couple of days! Things can change hourly with her! LOL *shrugs* I'm steadily drifting away from them but I'm still attached. I dunno...I feel "safe" in drifting. It's what I NEED atm & she has enough going on in her world right now anyway. They need to reconcile with each other more than anything else! I don't want to be in the middle of it...or hafta take sides...or be a crutch for either one of them. I need to experience this relationship with Jenn more than I need to be toyed with...whatever the true feelings are...I end up feeling toyed with. There's no certainty or stability. I dunno how to explain it without it coming off "negative"...
Tanya & Sean moved back to Jonesboro. They're in their new house now but no internet as of yet. Can't wait til she has normal access again! ;-) You know, I will ALWAYS hate Sean...but I'm glad she's back where she has friends & family. She craves that so much! My only hope is that Sean has figured out how to grow up & be a husband/father. I don't give a fuck what happens to him in his life...but I *AM* concerned about Tanya & Cooper!
Jenn had a pretty busy weekend...haha. And she's so bad...LOL!! She spent most of her time with family on the phone with me! ;-p I talked to one of her uncles...LMAO! OMG...that was nuts! ;-p There's been quite a bit of *revelations*...on her end. Stuff she didn't want me to know about. Other people continue to give her grief over it so she expected me to do the same! :/ If it changed *anything* about the way I feel...it only made me realize she deserves to be happy even more than I'd already figured out!!
I'm back to smoking regularly & totally off the diet. Meh...*shrugs* Still trying to figure out what to do about those 2 things but whatever...
Some days...Jenn's visit in October can't get here soon enough. But some days...I'm afraid for it to get here! SOOOO many insecurities about that & what all is involved...& what happens afterwards. I remember vividly...how I was the day before, the day of...walking off the plane & seeing Kat. I remember my dreams & expectations. Hopes. Desires. The *LIFE* that I'd created in my mind. I also remember the moments all of that died. I remember the year & a half of being numb cuz of those deaths. It's not something I wish to go through again...ANY of it. I don't want the happiness & dreams if it's just gonna die...
Anyway...*sighs*. Everything happens for a reason. Whatever is supposed to happen...is gonna happen. I just wish I knew I had a choice or a defense against it...
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