Realizations...

I've waited 3 months to be able to talk to her again. *REALLY* talk to her about what happened. About how I feel, about everything. Finally have had the chance &...some things just never change. She ignores me. She doesn't "know what to say". I can't tell you how *hard* I've sobbed in the last few hours trying to talk to her. I'm literally sore. :/ Then she wanted me to try WoW (World of Warcraft) since that's what she's into nowadays. For the 1st several hours, I was just in there by myself, roaming about aimlessly. She came in & finally came to find me to "help" me out &...OMG...it was like a whirlwind!! Completely spastic & she just acted like I should know what the hell to do. 1st of all, I was in a virtual world with her again. That alone was...hard. Secondly, I don't have a clue what to do in there & I can't keep up with her. I finally told her to just go do her own thing & I logged out. I can't stop crying. I realize, after all this time, we are never going to be ok again. I don't know what to do with this knowledge...I seriously don't. I miss her so effin much & I can't...I don't...I...*breaks down & sobs*