Needy...

I miss her. I miss her & I don't know why. Some days more than others. Like today. And last night. I've lost my official count but...everything exploded on Dec. 29 & she made decisions based on others instead of me & her. She put me in peril because of her inability to communicate. She was wrong & she can't find it within herself to admit it or attempt to correct it or...repair it. I've got no stinking clue how I expect her to fix this but I expect *something*. I should hate her. I should despise her. I should wish her harm & great sorrow. I should. I wish I could. Would be easier to move on if I hated her. But, instead, I'm stuck...*here*...still loving her & missing her. I hate my life...I wish it were over. I wish I had the strength & courage...*sighs*