And So It Goes...

I think, at 5 am (now yesterday morning), when she "put me in my place" & shut me down...I think it was in those last few moments that I knew where this was gonna go. I said to her that I will always "belong" to her whether I like it or not. I will always be that to her. She said she couldn't talk to me cuz she was pissed off. I'm not sure WTF she has to be pissed off about but whatever. Anyway. She shut me down by saying she couldn't answer me "now"...which, in the past, meant she needed some time & space to chill out. What it means now, however, I have no clue. But I've not bothered her at all today. Not attempted anything. I've been watching movies tonight & overheard a song...I'm crying. But...that's nothing new for me. Anyway, "And So it Goes" by Billy Joel:

In every heart there is a room
A sanctuary safe and strong
To heal the wounds from lovers past
Until a new one comes along
I spoke to you in cautious tones
You answered me with no pretense
And still I feel I said too much
My silence is my self defense
And every time I've held a rose
It seems I only felt the thorns
And so it goes, and so it goes
And so will you soon I suppose
But if my silence made you leave
Then that would be my worst mistake
So I will share this room with you
And you can have this heart to break
And this is why my eyes are closed
It's just as well for all I've seen
And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows
So I would choose to be with you
That's if the choice were mine to make
But you can make decisions too
And you can have this heart to break
And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows


Like I said, I've made no attempt. She played her wild card at 5 am when she put me down on my knees. The ball's in her court. She is in control. I have *zero* rights in this at all...

She's driving....