Can't Fight That...

So tonight has been...rough. Somewhat heated convo with Kat. I am still fighting to uncover the truth of what happened & wtf is going on with her & Ben & just where all of this started falling apart. I need answers. I need to understand why he hates me so much. I need to know what she's thinking & feeling. I need to know all of this so I can figure out how to let go, if that's what I need to do or hold on still. I need to know where I stand. I need to know what to do. I keep standing still & I'm just sinking.

So...conversation. Well, no, I can't really call it that. She thought we were arguing. I was asking a million questions/making a million statements & she was not responding (much). Then Ben put in his 2 cents:

anyway, I will leave it in your capable hands. Just so you know where I am at. I don't want anything to do with her. I will not invite her into our home or anything like that. I actually refuse to talk with her at all. I don't see how it will ever work and she is just pulling the same old shit all over again that she pulls and you get dragged back into it all.

OMFG. Wow. Ok...umm...wow! He literally despises me and I've never done anything to him at all. 1st of all, it wasn't always me going to her in our fights, to make up. 2nd, she knows that what he's saying is untrue & has no merit whatsoever but yet she just goes with it. She doesn't defend me at all. That speaks volumes! I just *THOUGHT* that being thrown out in the middle of the night was the worst thing she could do to me...OMFG. Was I ever wrong?! She's *letting* him crucify me & staying silent about it. Wow. I'm so glad I was wrong about her still caring for me....can you just IMAGINE if she *didn't* care about me for real?! Crap. :/

What do you do in this situation? What can you possibly do in this situation?? Realize there's zero recourse, lick your wounds & move along. ??? I've no idea what to do or think now. I really seriously don't. Just...shocked. Totally. I think that is the ultimate betrayal to date. She is letting him hate me for reasons unknown. Maybe she truly is the devil afterall...