Got to work at 9 am...wondered where the hell everybody was...got inside & Kelli reminded me it was Friday! LOL I didn't technically hafta be there til 10! HA! Oh, well...no biggie...I left at 5! ;-)
Got home, did a bit of FB & then dozed from 6:30 pm til 8 pm. Had to get up so I could go in SL to do that research study/murder mystery game! It was fun but I was lagging terribly...made it a bit frustrating...haha.
Sara contacted me...finally...last night. It's been 3 weeks. I don't know what to make of the convo. I simply stated what I feel but I don't think she gets it. Even though she agrees that friendship is a 2-way street...I don't think she *gets* it. Our "friendship" is solely based on whenever she remembers to make contact. It's always on her terms, only things that ever matter is whatever is going on in her world...I can't contact her. A) I'm petrified of Ben. B) She won't respond back anyway. I just...I've FINALLY gotten to the place where I'm tired of constantly being jerked around at her whim. I still respond immediately to her. And I just can't take it anymore when she's gonna disappear or just toy with me. I don't understand why she can't understand that. Instead...it's ME wanting her to contact me daily! *SIGHS* The same old story of the past 3 years! I always told her I didn't need daily contact--I STILL don't! What I DO need is...if we're to have *any* kind of relationship...I need to be able to trust her. I need to be able to trust her NOT to hurt me. I need to be able to trust her NOT to yank me around. I need to be able to trust her when she says something. Bottom line is...I DON'T TRUST HER! :/ And I can't learn to because she's never around. I can't just take what she says at face value, not talk to her for a month & be able to pick up right where we left off. And yet...this will all be me being passive aggressive, if you ask her about it...fuck me...*SIGHS*
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