Oops...

Completely lazy day!!! lol Oopsies! ;-p

Didn't go to sleep til sometime after 8 am...haha...so I didn't get up til 3 pm! Didn't attempt laundry cuz it was so late. :/ I can make it til Sunday! ;-p

Sooo...SL, last night after Jen got home from work was...uhh...interesting! ;-p Her ex is lashing out at her. She'd gone to the studio earlier & took down pics of me & Jen & replaced them with pics of her & Jen! That set Jen off!! She's been trusting her not to do anything stupid & has still been trying to remain friends with her--which I knew about! Cierra showed up at the studio during the quick staff meeting Jen called to explain to the others about rights being revoked. I thought I was gonna faint when she showed up! It's the 1st time I've seen her since Jen & I hooked up (not counting that 1st night! LMAO) She didn't stay long! *smirks* After that intensity, Jen & I invaded Lily's house! lol OMG...this girl has me so completely outta my comfort zone sometimes! ;-p When we finally got back home, I noticed that Cierra had been at the house!!! :/ Jen fixed it but...still! :/ After all of this, I think it finally dawned on Jen that she never had a reason to worry about Kat! Which, is very refreshing!! Takes a LOT of stress off of me! :D She was shocked that I was still with her after all of this. Meh. It's not that amazing really! :/

I've been...hmm..."trained"...to be on the sidelines! Not that that is a good thing at all! Let's see...everything that was ever shared with Lou was done on the sly cuz Polly (her RL wife AND my chain sister in SL) was *always* around! With Lee...I always took a back seat to every Tom, Dick & Harry in SL!!! And with Kathy...Becca was always the most important. She never even told her when I was staying with her! And...*obviously*...she's STILL has not told her anything cuz Becca messaged me the other night in SL!! lolol Geez...that was weird! ;-p But it's been Kat who transformed how I react to being in that situation. :/ I was always #692 on the list of things she needed to do...regardless! From day 1, I've always been petrified of Ben. I *KNEW* that he had all the power...always. And I was right, of course!! :/ When she went & messed around with Spektro...I fought tooth & nail for her!!! I won, in the end. But, really...did I?! *sighs* Then...well...Andy happened. I'm really not gonna go into all of that or my feelings about it but...all of a sudden, Ben & I were in the same boat. Except, at this point, I was already resigned to my place. It hurts but I know how to deal with it now.

I simply don't fight for it anymore. And I told Jen that. If she wants to go back to Cierra, she's free to go. My feelings have NEVER mattered in these issues & after 3 years...I've learned how to get past it. I let them go & do what they've gotta do. If they come back, so be it. If not...it's whatever! I guess the bottom line is...I don't make anyone my everything anymore...when all I am is an option. I learned that the hard way. :/

It's funny...I keep discovering new ways in which I've changed over the last year & a half. When will it ever stop?? lolol *shrugs*