Weekend!!

Saturday...work was...work. Was just Cindy, me & Amanda there. Still wasn't quite "myself" but was better than I was on Friday! :/ Whatever. Amanda had counter til she left at 4. I just put flats away, did some straightening, then a small project of removing Readers Digest Condensed Books, placing a stack of cart books elsewhere, bringing in a small bookcase to hold the map books & a few random OLD mystery books in Room 4.

Around 5 pm, I'd decided I wouldn't go out to DaVinci's tonight. Was just dragging! :/ Got home at 6 & it was even worse! lol Around 7, I was fighting not to doze off!! haha At 8...Stacy started texting me to come out! *chuckles* Soooo...I took a shower & ended up feeling a little bit better. Got to DaVinci's a little after 9. Hymn For Her is freaking AMAZING!! OMG...I love them!! :D I didn't have any cash on me or I woulda got their CD. But...I can get it online! :D

Got home about 12:30...went into SL to find Jen. Heard her DJ for a bit & then we all went back to the studio & she ended up taking some pics. Left SL around 4:15 & finally went to sleep around 5 am! LMAO

Got up at 12:30 pm today...*smirks*. And spent a couple of hours, looking at the videos from last night, posting to FB & tagging, etc. Now...movies, I imagine. I'm still really...washed out...& my allergies are kicking my ass today. So...just gonna do the lazy thing for the rest of the day. :-)

Shafted...

It took me 3 months to finish the Room 3 project. Almost since the time I started working on it, I'd been talking about how Room 4 was next. It is a complete disaster area & excess is beyond ridiculous!! It wouldn't be anywhere near the caliber of a project as Room 3 was cuz there'd be no real moving of anything--just reorganizing & culling.

Last night, at 9:30 pm, Amanda texted me, saying I would be stuck on counter today cuz she was gonna do the garage & Stacy wanted to be elsewhere. Which...was annoying but it was whatever. I get to work this morning & find out that...Cindy wanted Stacy & Claire working on Room 4!!! In an instant, I was...I dunno...FLOORED! It set my mood for the rest of the day. :/ I wasn't dealing with the emotions...(cuz we all know how well I do that now anyway) so I was just really quiet & unresponsive all day. I dunno who told her...but late in the afternoon, I'd walked away from the counter to help a customer & came back to a note sitting in my spot. A note from Cindy. She was apologizing about not meaning to take the project away from me but to give my body a rest from the work that it entails. It helped to lighten my mood a bit but not enough to make me "ok". Stacy & Claire will hafta finish it now. I'm not touching it. I'd do it differently. After the 2nd or 3rd time of being asked on what to pull, what to leave, etc...I quit giving my 2 cents...I'm not doing the project--they are. They can decide what to do with it. *sighs* Neither of them know that room (EITHER room 3 or 4) like I do...but it's...whatever! I guess...I just feel "displaced"...& that immediate gut feeling brought back vivid memories that I've been working to bury. So it's just really not a good situation for me. :/

Cindy invited me out to dinner tonight, too. New Chinese/Hibachi place opened up & her, Mike, Claire & Tom were gonna go check it out. I actually went there...but I left. The place was PACKED!! And, I'm really not over the mood of the day so I just went back home...

Stacy is hyperventilating about me going to DaVinci's tomorrow night to hear this particular band she's been talking about for weeks. lol But...earlier in the week, I'd already told Jennifer I'd meet her in SL tomorrow night. She wants me to model for her promotional pics for her photography business. Plus, to hear her dj later on in the night. So...I dunno what I'll end up doing. Guess I'll figure it out tomorrow...

Odd...

It has been an extremely LOOOOOONG day!! Which is beyond odd cuz, typically...my off days fly by! Heh. *shakes head in confusion*

Got up at 9:30 this morning, did a load of laundry, did the dishes. That's it. I have a shitload of Watch Instantly movies on Netflix expiring on the 1st so I've just been watching movies all day!! I really wanna finish my book though so I'm done with movies for the night & am gonna read til I go to sleep. :-) Karen brought me the rest of Jeannine Frost's 1st series (3 more books) so I'll start on them after I finish this Karen Chance one I'm on now & the 2nd of hers in this series. SO much to read & so little time! *smirks*

Angel has asked me 3 times now when we're gonna go out again. *laughs* I dunno! It's really up to her--she is the one with 2 jobs, 3 kids, father to take care of, & not to mention...other playmates! haha She's talking more & more about...well, about things getting "personal". I'm still REALLY dragging my feet on that but...I hafta admit...I've given it some thought. I'm not attracted to her. I don't truly feel anything towards her either--not on THAT kind of level. But who needs love anyway?? It's all a crock of shit & is entirely over-rated anyhow!! So I dunno...go with the flow...stop over-thinking things...stop caring whether anything matters or not & just get what little excitement I can out of each day. It's a whole NEW me!! New...but certainly not improved! Actually...worse off than before the damage was done but what can ya do?! o.0 Just gotta play the hand you're dealt in life...I'm tired of being miserable & lonely just because I don't trust anyone & can't manage to have TRUE feelings anymore. It's not worth it...*sighs*

Room 3...

FINALLY, FINALLY, FINALLY!!!! OMFG. Room 3 is finally *totally* done...spinners & all!! While I was redoing the spinners...I actually completely stripped them down & started over from scratch...filling them back up, I wasn't just putting shit back on there. Most of them were full of crap that doesn't EVER sell...so I tried to avoid doing that, as much as possible. The problem with that though was that...heh...by the time I'd worked my way through the entire alphabet...I had one entire empty spinner & 4 rows empty on another!! haha Oopsies!! *grins* I just figured I'd dig through my boxes of excess that I pulled when doing the room & randomly add shit to them to fill them up. Kelli came up with a better idea! The 2 bookcases of Humor are totally packed (hardbacks, trades & mass market!). The mass market of MAD were in a flat under the 2nd bookcase! They wouldn't even fit on the shelf. Kelli's idea was to move that empty spinner up to where Humor is, fill it with the mass market books & then tidy up the bookcases with the hardbacks & trades. So I actually got that little project finished today, too. Problem is, both bookcases are now packed again (but not as cluttered as before) because...when we moved the Humor several months ago from Room 2 to Room 3, there were 3 shelves of Humor still left in Room 2 cuz...you guessed it...they wouldn't fit!! haha So, I moved the rest of those into Room 3 with the rest of them. :-) Sooo...that completely ate up my day! ;-p

I have felt better today. All day. Last night, before I went to bed...I made a decision. This yo-yo shit with Sara is fucken ridiculous. She goes for weeks without talking to me...& yet...she wants to be friends?! Funny way of showing it! She comes on Yahoo & immediately goes offline--which tells me she's going Invisible. o.0 I've logged onto FB a couple of times & she'll be on but is gone within a couple of minutes. :/ It all reeks of *avoidance*. Every time she does it. This isn't the 1st time!! She always has an excuse afterwards. Always. And it's always the SAME excuse. I'm just *over* it. I'm not her desperate toy on a leash anymore. I don't fucken play these games with people anymore! Least of all, with HER. Every raw emotion that I've ever had is neatly bottled up in a fragile little container...she's not going to destroy that with her mindfucks. Nope! I've worked too hard to get to where I finally am. Sooo...I'm invisible to her on Yahoo & she is blocked from seeing my wall & posts on FB...until she can figure out that friendship is NEVER single-sided...it's always a joint effort!! I walked away from a handful of people over the last yr & a half for this very SAME reason (single-sided friendships). I kept holding on to her though...just cuz...but I've decided I can't do that anymore. I'll walk away from her, too, if she doesn't quit the fucken games. And I'm not gonna fall for the same old tired-ass lines anymore. Anyway...*SIGHS*

I'm off tomorrow. Yay!! Laundry...woohoo! Bleh! lol I'm ready for bed now...7:30 pm...lol

You're Making Me Piss Off!!

I have been in an ultra pissy mood all damn day! *sighs* :/ Dunno why really. Just AM.

I'm still pissed at Cindy about Schuster. I talked to Judy about it this morning. She won't take him. Stacy & I agree...if he's sent away, he'll most likely die shortly thereafter. He doesn't do well "alone". And he's too old for that kind of stress!! *sighs*

And...being avoided...yet again...isn't helping anything either! FFS. I would bet everything I own that the boy toy isn't being treated the same. Whatever. But...she IS supposed to be moving "sometime after the 20th" &...well...it's NOW "sometime after the 20th" but who the fuck knows?! It's not now that's the issue really anyway....it's the last week & a half mostly. This fucken PART TIME, when she feels like it, friendship is getting on my last nerve...

Room 3 spinners still aren't done!! I'm gonna run out of stuff to put back on them. Then I'll just pillage around in the 50+ boxes of excess that are still piled in the corner, I suppose...argh.

1st Day Back...

I went in to open this morning & Cindy was there! *shrugs* Whatever. I figured I was opening by myself but meh...

When Kelli got there, around 10:30, I went ahead & continued working on the spinners in room 3. I'd stayed up front til then cuz it was just me & Cindy & then when Stacy got there, Cindy left to run errands. Still not done with the spinners! I think they're giving me MORE of a headache than the ENTIRE room did! lol Oh, well. Amanda was out...again. Apparently she's still sick. ??? Dunno.

Cindy has always threatened to get rid of the cats. This morning she was saying Schuster was gonna "retire". That she's sending him home with Judy. I don't know that Judy will take him!! I would...in a HEARTBEAT (cuz he's my favorite anyway)...& I wonder if Bastian would accept him better than he has Ariel since he's already familiar with Schu-Schu's scent...??? But I tell you what...the moment she gets rid of ANY of them, is the moment she will cut her own throat!! She's gonna piss most of us off. She's definitely gonna piss a lot of customers off. And...that'll be the moment I start actively looking for another job! She knew before she bought the fucken store that the cats came with it. She's not that much of a cat person. HELLO?! I've not really said anything to her when she mouths off about them. Not much bothers me up there. I let most things go in one ear & out the other & I don't get stuck in the constant drama. BUT...she fucks with the cats...she fucks with me. They are cats & they do what cats do! There is NO reason for her to get rid of them because of that!! But...let her do it...& she'll start to see her mistake...when it's too fucken late. Ill hate to have her life when it starts dawning on her...

In OTHER news...apparently, Flagstaff is on fire! Basically. There are 3 separate forest fires surrounding the city. One...is very close to Kathy's condo...if I'm thinking of the same street. Risa has been posting some pics the last few days on FB. I'm glad Terri got out of there (even though she will be back in town Fri-Wed to pick up Ponce & Floyd). I am a bit concerned about Risa, Simon, Shannon, David, Michelle & Adrian though! A *bit*. :/ Don't give a FUCK about Kathy!! *shrugs* You'd think I'd be more worried than I am...they ARE in danger! All of them! But...just another example of my lack of empathy...I'm just like...it's whatever! *sighs* I fucken despise Sara & Ben sometimes when I get a good full dose of the damage they've done! *SIGHS* I don't have a fucken clue as how to repair it myself. None! And a huge part of me doesn't even really fucken care anyway. Blast...!! WTF?! And I'm growing colder & more non-chalant by the day, it seems... Ack... :-p

Last Day of Vacation...

*SIGHS* Don't want it to end...lol

Well, today was ANOTHER completely wasted day!! :D Didn't go to sleep til like 6 am but woke up at 11 am. FB & movies all day. Storms rolled in around 4 pm, as usual, for the summer & knocked the internet out so I played Freecell til it came back up. I wanted to nap around 2ish but knew I couldn't. If I did, I'd be up all night & can't do that since I'm going back to work tomorrow. Kelli texted me & asked if I could open in the am...yippee. 1st day back & I gotta open! lol No biggie...just means I get to leave earlier than normal. ;-p Well, as long as there are enough people there to close. I dunno who's working tomorrow except Kelli & Stacy. *shrugs* So then I did dinner, more movies. I haven't read a single word in the 4 days I've been off!! That's BAD! lolol Oh, well. I dunno my next day off...I imagine Wed or Thur. But I'll hafta do laundry then. Had ZERO desire to mess with it while on vacation!! hahaha *snorts*

3rd Day of Vacation...

COMPLETELY lazy day!!!! hahahahaha I got up at NOON! *snorts* Course...I didn't go to sleep til 7 am! ;-p Played on FB, watched movies, had dinner...then it stormed & knocked the internet out for a while so...I napped 8-9:30 pm! lol More movies & FB. I have been having this issue with my Netflix Watch Instantly movies...every so often, I'd run across one that the volume was super low! With the a/c or the the fan on, I absolutely could not hear it at all!! I missed a lot of movies cuz of that! :/ I remembered Stacy mentioning something about Ryan hooking her laptop up to his computer speakers to watch movies...so I pondered that. Then I TRIED it myself! hahaha IT WORKS!!! Yay!!! No more missed movies! :D

I don't want tomorrow to come cuz...I don't want Monday to come!! :/ I'm not ready to get back into the swing of work yet! THOUGH...I hafta admit...taking this time off was the EXACT thing I needed to do!! I haven't hurt since Friday!!! *woot* But...my sleeping patterns are completely fucked up...hahahaha!! *shrugs* Oh, well...such is life! ;-p

2nd Day of Vacation...

Another chill day! Got up at 8:45 am but was napping 1-4 pm. lol Got up, got ready & met Angel at the store. As soon as she got in the car, she put a necklace on me. One that she'd gotten in the Dominican Republic. :-) Then we went to Chili's for dinner. After dinner, I took her back to her van & she followed me to the house so she could leave it here. Got back in my car & we went to Da Vinci's. Hung out there for a while. It was pretty dead but the guy doing the live music was pretty good! Then we came back here around 11:30. She hung out here for about an hour before heading out on her 45-minute drive home. It was a nice night. :-)

No beach tomorrow after all. Amanda's been sick. :/ I'm not going out there on the weekend by myself. LOL Just isn't worth it when I only go for the peace (when I go alone). Maybe I'll go get my hair done tomorrow instead. I want it like I had it last summer...

1st Day of Vacation...(Con't)

2 more things happened today that I forgot about earlier!

Pretty much the 1st thing I saw on FB this morning was Terri's post. She is adopting Vance's 2 boys, Ponce & Floyd!! She's gonna make a trip back to Flagstaff sometime in the next couple of weeks to pick them up. I was just ecstatic!! :D Those little boys will have a really good home with her. And...she'll get to hold onto a couple of pieces of Vance for a little bit longer... :D What touched me the most, however, was how she talked about pulling pics off of Vance's profile of the boys so she can keep them to remind them of their Daddy & how much he loved them. It broke my heart, all over again! *sniffs*

Then Cindy emailed me this afternoon. She wants to start a blog, of sorts, on the store's FB page, discussing random books. So I've got to look into seeing how to do that...

Ok, now I think I covered everything for today finally. lol 3 am...time for bed! ;-p

1st Day of Vacation...

Well, today has been pretty chill. hahaha Didn't get up til 10:30 & was back asleep by 2! LOL Got up at 5, got ready & went over to mom's for dinner & a movie & to get my beach chair (need it for Saturday, most likely). When I got there though...I found out they had to put Big Boy down just a little bit before I got there. *cries* He was SUCH a sweet baby boy...OMG. :-( He's had an auto-immune deficiency for a few years now. And he's had this sore on his ear that refuses to heal for over a year. The infection was taking over & they were told he wouldn't get better...so they put him down. :-( That's 2 cats to go in the last few months. *sighs*

We watched Alice in Wonderland. I was disappointed actually. Had higher hopes for it! Oh, well. *shrugs* It was still a decent movie...just not as good as I was expecting it to be. :/

I left her house at 9:30, got back to town at 10 pm & did a Wal-Mart run. What a PITA!!! They were tearing up the floors so had a majority of the aisles blocked & stuff...PLUS, the night stockers were out so they were all up in the way, too! Ugh! lol But it saved me from having to go during the day when it's crowded...*shrugs*

I finally got home & Angel & I decided that we will meet tomorrow night. We've been talking for months. Last night, she went off on this tangent about sex & stuff. It was really quite funny. ;-p I'm not ready for that...don't think I will *EVER* be ready for that again but...I dunno. I miss having intimacy & companionship with someone. Love will never truly be a factor in any relationship again. That's pretty much a given. And I'm not all that interested in sex. But...*sighs*...I want *something*...just not sure what...or what I'm willing to open myself up to again. *sighs* I messaged Amanda & Stacy to meet me at Da Vinci's...cuz I don't want to really be alone with Angel...LOL! Amanda has the boys so she can't make it...haven't heard from Stace yet. I just...I REALLY don't do this social thing well at all!! hahahaha And it's even worse NOW! o.0 Bleh...

Room 3 Project

Well, as of 3 pm on Monday, the room 3 project was *technically* DONE!!! WooHooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!! heehee :D It felt really GOOD...in that moment...putting that last stack of books on the shelf! 3 freaking months spent on this project!! Today actually marks the 12th week of it. I say "technically" done because there were some remaining details to be done but the major part of the project (getting all the books back on the shelves) was done. I spent the remaining part of the afternoon Monday relabeling the aisles to the corresponding part of the alphabet. Then I put away the remaining excess in their respective spots. The only thing left at that point was redoing the 3 spinners that are actually in room 3 & the 1 spinner in room 2 that holds room 3 books. I INTENDED to get that done yesterday...but, no. haha That's how this shit goes...NEVER EVER plan what you're doing ahead of time!! ;-p Stacy called in sick both Monday & Tuesday...so yesterday was a bitch of a day with it being just me, Manda & Cindy there. I got to the Ds on my spinners before it went nuts up front. The order came in (a pretty huge one) & Manda had to do it in the back...leaving Cindy up front & it was nuts up there so I had to go up. Got stuck on counter the rest of the day. Manda left early, too, cuz she opened. But it's whatever! That's just how this goes! ;-) I am hoping to get to continue to work on the spinners today. No idea if Stacy will be there or not. At any rate though...I just hafta make it through today, book club meeting tonight & THEN...I'm off for 4 glorious days!!! AHAHAHA :D Prolly going to the beach with Manda & the boys on Saturday but other than that...I'm just gonna veg as much as possible!!! :D Come on...let this day hurry up already!! *snorts* ;-p

Another Kitty?!

I've been seeing this particular stray in the yard for the last couple of days. She was always far off though or in the driveway, etc. This morning when I got up & went out for a smoke, she was under the stairs of the porch. Came right up to me & started talking & rubbing on me. A couple more smokes with the same actions from her. Then she tried coming upstairs with me once. I put her back out though. Next time I went down, I felt bad so I took food & bowl for water down with me. Finally, I decided I'd let her come up & see if Sebastian would tolerate her. Yeah...umm...not so much!!! LOL So she went back out. Next time I went down, she wasn't anywhere around! :/ So I felt bad then. Then I went out again & Joe was outside. She came up the driveway about the same time. Talking away! lol I told him about the escapades of the day & how she'll just go up the stairs if I open the door. He wanted to see so I opened the door & up she went...haha. So we get back in here & Sebastian is still pissed off about her being in here. But she's making herself right at home. She has checked the whole place out--several times. Made her bed in the closet. Napped in the kitchen sink. Follows me to the bathroom just like Sebastian does! Gawd...I hope they don't BOTH go in there with me (if he ever stops being pissed off at her)!! There's not room for all 3 of us in there! ;-p She's my little dog...heehee. Everytime I go out for a smoke, she goes with me...then comes back up with me! She's a total love bug!! Head butter extraordinaire! Talks constantly. I think I will name her...Ariel! *grins*

Whew!!

Well...it's been an *eventful* few days! lol

For a week or so, I'd had this...I dunno...knot, of sorts, on my belly. I assumed it would be a boil. Tuesday evening when I got home, I noticed that it had popped. So unlike a boil this thing was! It popped & became this open, sunken hole that was oozing mess! BLEH!! Mom got freaked out about it being a spider bite & it *does* resemble a brown recluse bite in some ways, though not as destructive as they tend to be. Stacy was wondering if it might be a staph infection. Kinda looks like that, too. It's now finally starting to heal a little bit but it's still a oozing hole. :/ It'd be cool if it was something that would just go ahead & kill me & get it all over with! ;-p

I was off on Thursday. Cindy brought Cameron, her grandson, up to the store finally. He was born in April but we're just now finally getting to meet him! Stacy texted me to let me know when Cindy was on her way up there. He's freaking adorable!!! And looks just like Todd!! hahaha

Room 3 Project. *SIGHS* I have been shifting this last aisle for 3 days now!! :-( I have 5 bookcases on that aisle that are short...meaning, to put double stacks of books on there is a PITA. It looks tacky & because they don't fit so well, books fall off easy. Makes a mess on the floor. So I only initially but 1 stack of books on them. Well...I keep running out of room!! So, I'd have to double up the bookcase & then shift all the way down again. I have shifted twice now...& I have to do it YET AGAIN! Sooo...unless I get stuck on counter Monday, I will FINALLY finish the project!! Or, rather, the biggest part of it. I have to re-label the aisles once I'm done & then re-do the spinners but...the actual project itself will be done. THANK GAWD!! Ack.

Friday afternoon, I'm at work & Stacy comes back there & asks me if I know this guy (tells me the name from the caller ID). Nope. No clue. She tells me the area code. It's not familiar. She says this guy just called & asked if I still worked there, then asked what hours we were open on Saturday. Then he asked about a kid's book & finally said his wife was staring at him so he had to go. Bizarre!! It took me 5 minutes or so to figure it out! LMAO My cousin, Jennifer, from Baton Rouge, who I've not seen in...oh...prolly 15 years or so...has been in Orlando for a week now. Never once did she contact me or my mom to get together with them! This guy...was her hubby!! I've never met him! They've been married just a few years. Mom met him a couple years ago at a family reunion & said he's a complete douchebag. Meh...whatever! Jennifer called the store today...Stacy answered...lol. She recognized the name & # on the caller ID. Said Jen was being all suspicious-like & Stacy cut her off & said "You're Mel's cousin..." AHAHAHA Floored Jennifer!! Too funny. She said we were just a bunch of detectives up here! Stacy told her yeah, of course we are when some strange man calls & being all stalkerish...we take up for each other!! lol Jennifer told her she hadn't wanted me to know they were gonna try to come by...wanted to surprise me. Whatever. They surprised me alright...didn't show up after all! *snorts*

Friday night...are you fucken kidding me?! OMG. Hmm. Sara. So we're chatting. Her & boy toy are still talking (*shock*) but they're fighting or whatever. She was wanting advice on how to handle the situation with him. All I could do was laugh! What she was saying was like a fucken broken record from US! HA! Told her she should already know how to play this game! ;-p Then she calls me & we talk for a few. Then back to Yahoo. THEN...yep, she hit her head or something...cuz she lost her freaking mind...asks me if her & Ben want to get a girl, would I be interested. Oh...cuz, yeah, all of a sudden, Ben is now poly again...erm...OK! And there was more stuff said...that I kept calling BS on...&, yeah...wow. Just...LOLOL. Like...SERIOUSLY?! Honestly...I was laughing the entire time. She provides great entertainment, I'll give her that much! ;-p If she'd pulled this shit even 6 months ago, I woulda been a puddle on the floor instantly. But...now...all I could do was laugh. I am not the same person I used to be...when she truly knew me. That person is dead. This is what's left. I don't trust her. I don't believe her. I know she always just plays games. I most *certainly* don't trust Ben!! And she tells me he's well aware that we're friends & we talk but, you know, I can't even remember how many times I've heard that in the past & it wasn't the truth...or that he had an issue with it if he did actually know!! *sighs* But, like I said, I'm not the same person I used to be. I am OVER this...truly...or, at least, as over it as I'm probably gonna get. I'm still a sucker for her. I'm just not as apt to fall when she manages to remember that I exist...lol. I have a really hard time letting people close to me now. Amanda & Stacy are the closest things I have to TRUE friends...& they are even still on the outside of my wall!!! Intimate relationships are non-existent. I can't get close to normal platonic people...anything more is impossible. I have zero empathy. Zero TRUE emotional feelings towards people, in general. Well, anything positive, that is! I still get angry, hurt, scared, annoyed but...love, genuinely caring about someone...yeah...it just doesn't happen! Then tonight she tells me that she only said it cuz she was drinking & being flirty!! o.0 Again...even 6 months ago...I would've been a basketcase. Now...I laugh. *shrugs* I knew all along she was full of shit. It didn't affect me. I mean, not like it would've in the past. I couldn't sleep last night cuz my brain was in overdrive, trying to figure out her angle. But, still. So not the same way I would've handled it in previous times. I guess my biggest problem though is...if she ever was SERIOUS...& proved it...I'd be lost in a heartbeat. *sighs* Anyway...she wasn't & she'll never be so no worries...right??

Angel is in the Air Force. She just got back last Monday...they'd sent her to the Dominican Republic for 3 weeks or so on a humanitarian mission. They had her on anti-malaria drugs. Almost since the time she left, she was telling me that she thought she might be pregnant. Once she got back home, she ballooned! Was so totally bizarre!! I saw her on cam last night & she fucken looks like she's 6 months pregnant! But less than a month would be the actual count. She was supposed to come to the bookstore today & bring the boys. This morning, she texts me that she's hurting really bad. I told her to go to the ER immediately! Even if she's not pregnant, something FREAKY is going on!! So...she goes. She was pregnant...& was miscarrying...due to the anti-malaria drugs!! :/ Callous to say, but she's better off. She's not in a position right now to have another child...especially one that isn't her hubby's! lol

I opened this morning. Stacy came in early, too. Cindy had offered to let us go early cuz of that. Stace left around 2:30-ish, I think. I left at 3. Came home & napped since I didn't sleep last night. At 10 pm, Amanda & Stacy are telling me they are at DaVinci's so I made the split second decision to get up & go over there, too! lol Had a couple of Woodchuck's, laughed, had a good time! I needed that.

I think I'm going to attempt to take a mini vacation next week. I'm scheduled to be off Wednesday but I'm gonna switch it for Thursday, then take Friday & Saturday off...we're always off on Sunday. I am burnt out!! 3 months of this project has kicked my ass & I need some serious downtime!! More than a single day off can accomplish!! Hoping that I can work it out ok...cuz I need it. Bad.

So now that it's after 5 am...guess I'll try to sleep...lol. *sighs*

Vance...

Just found & read Vance's obituary online, from his hometown newspaper in KS. I can't find one for Flagstaff--apparently their obits aren't online?? :/ Anyway...it was a car accident. Very nice obit! And...as it listed his survivors, it named his 2 boys, Ponce & Floyd!! Of course, I started crying then. :/ The family wants memorials to be made to the Humane Society.

By her status updates, Terri is not doing well at all!! :-( I wish I knew what to say to her...*sighs*

Sadness...

Kathy's roommate (ex now-she moved out of state a few weeks ago), Terri...has had a great loss! Her ex, Vance, suddenly passed away a couple of nights ago. I don't know what happened to him. And I won't ask her. She's really struggling with this. :/ I never met him. But they dated several years ago & remained friends after. He was really special to her. I "knew" him cuz she talked about him. I "knew" him cuz, in the last yr & a half, I've been involved with convos on her FB page with him. By all accounts, he was just a really super guy. His personality & sense of humor was amazing! I don't think he ever posted anything that I didn't chuckle at! So all of this time that has passed...I DO feel like I "know" him...a little bit. I was just looking through his pics (his FB account is still open). He had 2 kittens, Ponce (named for Ponce de Leon) & Floyd (named for Pink Floyd). Super precious!! I started crying!! :-( These babies are gonna be so lost without their Daddy!! I wonder about what's going to happen to them? Who is going to take them? It's a shame that...I'm not crying about him or the pain that Terri is enduring...but, rather, the loss the kittens will feel. I mean, yes...I *do* feel bad about him & about Terri but the REAL pain isn't coming from that. I've already been saying it for a few months now...& this is ULTIMATE proof right here...I've lost ALL empathy for humans!! I have always been a hyper-sentimental person. My entire life. It was just a part of who I was. That part of me is dead now. It's actually a pretty devastating realization. I look to those who caused it with great sadness. I hope they are content with themselves. Sara, Ben, Tanya, Neenah, Kathy, Lee...thanks for literally killing a core part of who I was. You should be proud of yourselves...

*sighs*

Those precious furry babies...Vance's life being cut too short...Terri experiencing a pain she never deserved...let's all sleep soundly tonight & avoid realizing how fragile life really is. Be AWARE of how you treat people!! Tomorrow is NEVER guaranteed...

Memorial Day Weekend

Memorial Day means nothing to me except an extra day off. I don't give a RAT'S ASS about the military (anymore!!) So I had Sun & Mon off & was basically a vegetable. FB, movies, naps, some household chores but nothing that wasn't absolutely necessary! I *SO* wasn't ready to go back today! :/ I think I need a fucken vacation...

Long week ahead now to pay for having yesterday off. Bleh!! BUT...I'm in the Ss on the Room 3 project! Won't be long now!!

Oh & yes...YAY...go me!!! I'm being ignored & avoided! *woot* Too coincidental to be JUST coincidence. Besides...I have 3 years experience with this...I KNOW what it looks like! *sighs* Whatever. If she can't commit to a friendship & be an adult...that's HER problem...not MINE! Her chance at doing so is almost nil at this point...but, again, her choice...

Fuck it. Doesn't really matter anyway. Nothing matters anymore...