An Urge To Write Again...

I'm back! Wow. It's been...8 months since I last wrote here. I started getting the urge to start writing again earlier so...here I am. You know, that comes & goes with me. Wanting...or, rather, needing to write. It's always been a form of therapy for me.

So...a LOT has happened in the last 8 months! Let's see...yes, Kat & I randomly still speak. No, nothing has been resolved with us. Yes, I'm still in love with her & still miss her. Or maybe I'm not in love with her?! I was asked the other day how I could love someone that treated me as she has. The short answer is...I dunno! I miss the girls. I miss Bella. Hell...some part of me even misses Ben. Apparently they have been having issues the last few months. Even have discussed divorce. But I don't know very much of what's going on cuz she doesn't talk to me. Has every access available & just ignores it. Some things never change...

I am still working at the bookstore I interviewed at just before I stopped writing. I like it. Lots of changes have happened there, too. Judy sold the business to Cindy in September. The changes she's made have caused tidal waves...lol. Kelli is perpetually unhappy. I've gotten close to Amanda & Stacy. Joined a Paranormal Book Club with Amanda. Not that I ever finish any of the specified books! lol I may have to really start looking for another job though. I'm not making enough money here & now that I have a vehicle & an apartment...life is hard to afford! :/

Uhh...let's see...Neenah & I went our separate ways in June. She's no longer my Cookie. I miss her but...it was her choice. Although, we've kinda almost sorta reconnected now...she's back on my FB, at any rate. All of the hell I've been through with Kat...I now have a super fantastic aversion to chasing people. You know, me always being the one to contact them, always me putting forth the effort to maintain the friendship. I simply can't do it. With anyone. And so, Neenah & I drifted apart. The same situation (only a little more involved) happened with Kathy. We don't speak at all. She's completely deleted from everything she was attached to. Fuck her. Tanya & I reconnected. I still have small issues with that. Sometimes it just feels like normal & everything is as it was. But sometimes, I get a little freaked out. Trust issues, you know? I have them with *EVERYONE* now. Lee & I rarely chat anymore. I refuse to chase her, too. So...life is quiet for the most part. Not many people remain in my circle.

New apartment. :-) Just before Thanksgiving, I moved out of my mom's & closer to work. I rent a studio apartment from Judy. It's her attic. lol I'm happy here!! :D I feel like I'm grown again...haha. Oh!! And I have a baby boy. His name is Sebastian! See below. ;-)







And here it is, almost xmas. Almost D-Day. D-Day = 1 year anniversary of my world exploding in Seattle. I've yet to recover. And, I'm noticing, that I'm withdrawing into myself the closer those dates come. Maybe why the urge to write again? *shrugs* No idea. Zero xmas spirit. I despise the holiday now. Bought a black xmas tree to commemorate that. After all, last xmas, I was abandoned & snowed in for a week, when she SWORE she'd not do that to me...then 2 days later, my world was in chaos. Not sure I will EVER have xmas spirit again after that.

So, anyway, I'm back. For now. And updated. Somewhat. We'll see how it goes...lol