Weekend Catch Up!

Cindy & I didn't really "resolve" our issue face-to-face.  It was all via text over a 2-3 day period.  lol  But I've stepped back, stopped pampering her...just letting her do it all.  She will be responsible for everything regarding the store all next week, too.  I will be concentrating on inventory!  Karen & I spent some of Friday test scanning, creating entries in Anthology, me on the phone with Tom 3 times because certain aspects of the system weren't working properly.  He was remotely in our system even after I left, trying to get it to print barcodes like it's supposed to!  I've come to the conclusion...that's he's a complete moron though!  Wow.  He doesn't belong anywhere near the Tech Support department!  o.0

Saturday I focused on processing & helping customers.  I'm still not really back to my "normal" of talking & interacting with Cindy.  I feel undermined, belittled & taken advantage of still.  Maybe once we get Anthology up & running, she will have had to handle her entire business ALONE long enough to realize her mistake.

Tuesday, Karen & I will really jump into doing inventory.  Which means...most of our time spent at the store will be at night, after it's closed!  Though Cindy doesn't want us there any later than midnight.  I dunno.  I don't think we'll do full 8 hour shifts...but who knows?  Take it day by day...

Bud has my living room & dining area done.  I went to Target last night & got a large bookcase.  I'm going to start arranging what I can of my furniture & accessories for the living room tomorrow.  ;-)  Planned on doing that today but...I got sidetracked!  haha  ;-p

I didn't get up today til 12:15 pm!  HA!  ;-)  Cleaned kitty litter & swept my room, cleaned my bathroom.  Bud got here about 2:30 pm & started working on the 2nd bathroom (taking the toilet up & repairing that, etc).  Around 4, I stopped what I was doing & sat outside, on the phone, with Lee.  For hours!  :D  Of course, she made me cry within a minute of getting on the phone with her!  :/  She had yet another surgery on Friday. This is the 3rd in the last 2 1/2 years.  Cancer.  This time...she didn't tell me about it.  And that's why I cried.  Because of her reasons for not telling me.  :/  She's getting to the point of not wanting to put me through the worry part of it.  She didn't even tell Kayla this time either.  Her own daughter.  So...I said to her...what if...the WORST had happened...& we'd lost her.  I wouldn't have had ANY clue!!  lol...apparently Kayla said almost the EXACT same thing to her!  ;-p  I made her promise...if there's a next time...she TELLS me...regardless!  Ugh.  *sighs*  DUH...I get upset & worry when she tells me it has come back...& I stay worried til she gets it taken care of!  Sheesh.  That's natural!  :-(  But I'd rather know than NOT to.  Anyway, after that...we had a pretty deep & daunting convo.  With what Steve put her through a few months ago, the Cancer coming back & all...she's changing.  Her world is evolving.  She's taking a closer look at her life & the people in it.  She's been "out" to her circle of friends for several months now.  She told me today...she's also "out" to most of her family...& most recently, to Kayla!  :-)  But Kayla surprised her.  haha  Said she already knew!  And she only knew because of me!  LMAO!  Kayla told her she knew there HAD to be something "more than just friends" between us.  *snorts & laughs*  I kept telling her she wasn't as stealth as she thought she was...AHAHAHA!!  I've told her that for 4 years!  *smirks*  We talked a lot about this Bi-Poly group I'm in on FB, what all I've been learning...& realizing about myself.  We talked about her emotional/psychological fallout from the Steve incident.  Before we hung up, she (somewhat jokingly) asked me to come to Canada & just marry her already so that we're both finally happy.  *chuckles*  I told her I'd try to come visit sometime this summer instead.  ;-)

I remember, 4 years ago, a time when I wanted (so much) for her to want JUST ME.  While, at the same time, I was really mostly ok with not being the ONLY one...as long as I was her Primary.  BUT...I also did NOT want to let go of Sara & Ben.  I was very achingly aware that I was simply a diversion for them  & meant nothing (not REALLY--not anything special anyway)...but I still wanted them in my life...with her.  It's all so very complicated & convoluted!  *laughs*  But...*sighs*...I cannot even describe what I felt when Lee said today..."I want to be selfish & be someone's only finally & have them as my only...finally.  To the point where absolutely no one else matters!  And I want that to be you..."

I cannot even begin to tell you how disturbing & difficult it was to even entertain the idea of being someone's...ANYONE'S...Only!!  It's kind of frightening actually.  Poly was never a part of my ideal relationship speculation.  It was something I was introduced to, did a lot of reading, learning & soul searching to even get to the point of considering.  I evolved into it.  At this point, I'm not sure that I'd ever believe someone would EVER be monogamous with me...or me with them either.  o.0  But I'm getting ahead of myself here.  Lee & I aren't in a relationship.  And unless she's REALLY going to stay in this particular frame of mind, it's pretty pointless to stress over it just yet anyway.  ;-)

It is utterly AMAZING how we change, over time, isn't it?!  :-)  How other people, experiences, feelings, emotions can change us?  Hmm...