Another Emotionally Twisted Day!

Woke up at 2 am, coughing my head off.  :/  I've already gone through 2 sets of cold meds with this thing & just REALLY don't wanna do another one.  Guess I need it anyway...cuz I was up til 7 am!  I texted Cindy at 6 am to let her know I needed a nap but I'd be at the store in time to leave for the funeral.  Ugh.

Dozed til 10 & got back up.  I don't think I actually went to sleep.  Got dressed & got to the store just before 12:30.  Felt like a zombie!  :/  Amanda decided not to go cuz their a/c is out & she was waiting for the repair man.  Kelli didn't go cuz she was hungover.  Lori decided to go with us, so Cindy drove her & Lori & I followed them.  We left Savannah & Claire in charge of the store instead of closing.  o.0  They ended up doing fine...but still...lol.

We got to the church at 1:30 pm & got inside.  The services actually started a little after 2.  I think he must've been cremated cuz they only had a pic of him up front...no casket.  I was fine through the beginning of it.  But...when Susan walked in with her parents & his parents & both girls...I started getting teary!  :-(  It was the oldest one that got to me.  She just completely didn't even look like herself & she's ONLY 6!  The baby started chattering & that made me tear up, too...watching & listening to her.  They were only 3 rows in front of us.  Susan's mom ended up taking the baby out of the service pretty quickly.  I absolutely DESPISE anyone seeing me cry, so I had to make a mental effort to look around the church, at all of the stained glass, then focused on watching all of the rituals they were going through...not actually listening to all of what they were saying.  Cindy & I were both pretty shocked at how close Episcopalian & Catholic is.  We weren't expecting that at all!  It was an hour long service.  I got restless about halfway through it.  The standing & sitting, the reading & singing, all of the other little ritualistic things...the Communion.  Yeah...anyway.  He was indeed dearly loved by MANY!  I knew he was a Professor of Theology but...just WOW!  Never knew just how accomplished he truly was!  Never even knew he had his Doctorate either.  He taught at 3 colleges.  I just kept thinking about the last time he came in the store with both girls.  He was always so quiet & reserved but he was well aware of how we cater to them.  And he always seemed to appreciate it...whereas Susan is just used to it.  :/  They'd just celebrated their 9th anniversary on June 9...5 days before he died.  So, so terribly tragic...

After the service, everyone gathered in the back where food, etc was set up.  There was a procession of ALL of these people to go by & hug her & say their peace.  This was when she started breaking down.  The moment she saw the 3 of us, she really lost it.  When I hugged her, I told her that Stacy & Amanda wanted me to pass along their love to her & the girls.  Just...sad...the whole thing...

We didn't stay to eat or anything.  We left after we got to see her, just about 3:45 pm.  Cindy & Lori headed back to the store.  I...went just a little ways down the street to go meet Jen at this tavern.  :-)  As soon as I walked in, she jumped up & hugged me.  We did nothing but giggle the 1st 10 minutes!  LMAO!!  It wasn't meant to be a romantic get together or even the implied impression of either of us being "on the prowl"...which...made me not as nervous!  :-)  But I was STILL nervous!  I always am with anybody new to me.  It wasn't long after I got there & we started eating that a super nasty thunderstorm popped up.  We just sat through it & kept talking.  :-)  We finally left at 7.  I got another hug as we parted.  She wants to hang out sometime.  We even talked about going to a local gay bar just cuz neither of us have ever been to one...HAHA!!   I dunno...we'll see.  lol

I got home at 8 & got tied up in FB for a while.  Then for about an hour or so, Manda & I were trying to decide if we wanted to go out for drinks.  I'm still super restless for some reason.  And so is she apparently.  We finally decided not to go out after all.  Which is better cuz...I've had a REALLY long day already.  And the way I'm feeling...I'm fighting my demons that want to email Sara.  I think I've talked myself out of it so far. Mainly cuz I think of the "restlessness" & she was a large part of the convo with Jen this evening.  She doesn't want to talk to me.  No point in me making a fool out of myself & trying.  It's going to be a bit of a battle for a while to come.  It always is when she pops in & then back out of my life like this!  *sighs*

Now...I'll finish watching Pillars of the Earth.  Then probably just go to bed.  I'm weary.  And restless.  And I dunno.  Just...weird...bleh!!  :-p