And So It Happens...

I spent most of yesterday in SL. I knew...I *KNEW*...that it would only be a matter of time if I started being in SL for any length of time that...Talon...& the subject of...taking her collar would come up. And so it has. Don't think I'm not contemplating it. I am. Nothing & no one will ever fill the void that remains in my heart & soul for Her. But...the emptiness that comes from being "abandoned"...that comes from not "belonging" to someone...that...THAT can be eased. I'll only ever have one TRUE Owner--that person which possesses my heart & soul. I can give my loyalty, my submission, my need to be protected & to belong...to someone else. It's a shame & ironic, at the same time, that it may be to Her arch enemy. I've waited for over a year for Her to reclaim any of it...*something*. It's Her choice. I just wish She cared that the door is slowly sliding closed. The very same door that I've had propped open, just for Her, for oh so long now. This won't happen overnight. This taking Talon's collar. I'm still way too skittish. I've been a stray kitten for an extremely long time now & she will need to regain some trust from me 1st. Not to mention...I still continue to prop that fucking door open, no matter what! But...I'm pretty sure it will happen. I need it too badly to help me heal not to accept it...