Self-Worth Much?

Yesterday was a little chaotic. LOL. As everyone started coming in (Cindy, Kelli, Claire & Amanda), they were bringing in boxes & bags of all the books they collected at SIBA. Me, Stacy, & Amanda worked ALL day on processing them. We're making a display on the front counter shelves of all the new stuff. I'm gonna post something on FB about it today.

I went over to Amanda's at 7 for dinner & to pow wow about what we need to do with the website, FB & Twitter...as well as how to handle Cindy with kid gloves so we can do what we need to do to keep the store alive. Amanda let me in on something though. She didn't want me to get pissed but she felt she needed to tell me. And I didn't get pissed. But...anyway. So Friday, when all of the dramatic texts were flying back & forth between Stacy & Cindy about us getting to go to SIBA on Saturday...Amanda says Cindy was getting uber pissed off. She made the comment that if the next text that came back to her WASN'T that we were gonna work the store the next day & just be cool...she was gonna leave the show, go to the store & ONE of us was gonna go home...for GOOD. That someone...was gonna be ME! WTF?! lol I wasn't involved in the texts at all!! I was telling Stacy after the 3rd text, that I was fine at the store & to just drop it. It was Stacy who was so freaking adamant about getting to go to SIBA. *sighs* Fuck my life!! But the texts that Stacy was sending to Cindy was dragging me into the situation as if I was balking at not being able to go, too. I wasn't. And...apparently Cindy feels like Stacy is more of an asset to the store than I am. I have no idea why!! But that's her prerogative, I suppose. *sighs* I think Amanda & Kelli know better though. Not that what they know means shit to Cindy. :/

I'm an extremely unassuming person & I almost NEVER sing my own praises. That's the reason I suck so bad at job interviews!!! I certainly know what I'm capable of. I know what I do on a daily basis. I figure...anyone who pays attention will see it, too. For the most part, that works in my favor!! Amanda said last night...I have the ability to NOT look like I'm busy but I get a shitload of work done. Stacy has the ability to look SUPER busy & get absolutely nothing done. *sighs* I don't know how to adjust that. It's just how I am. :/ I generally (since I got fucked over so bad at City Mattress) do NOT show anyone my potential so that I *DON'T* get taken advantage of. Even at my own detriment, I guess. *sighs* I dunno. I don't know how to NOT be me. I'm not going to get all up in Cindy's face & PROVE to her what I can do. It's pointless to do that with her...cuz she doesn't *GET* anything about anything any one of us does to begin with!! Shit...*sighs* Whatever. I dunno. It is what it is, I guess...