About Kelli...

Just so you know...I use my blog to vent, work shit out in my head & heart, make sense of what doesn't make sense to me.

I was CONFUSED AS FUCK regarding the situation with Kelli!!!  Based on the information that I had...I had to try to make sense of it.  And THIS was my forum for that.

As for the pay rate in debate...I was guesstimating when I said $17/hr.  It actually averages out to be $13.96+.  I just did the calculations.  What I SAW of the texts, she was asking for $13...but said she was willing to lose even $3...(which would be $10...which is what I was told she was getting paid).  When she worked FT, did the books, kept up with sidelines ordering, ran the store in Cindy's absence, did payroll, did scheduling, did ordering, & the umpteen other things she did...she was worth that...

At 1 day a week...SOMETIMES...with her ONLY responsibilities being to process books & take care of customers...$10 was BEYOND FAIR.

You have to look at the whole picture here...her 25+ years of experience...isn't relative in as far as compensation is in debate.

I WILL NEVER MAKE THAT PAY RATE AMOUNT...& I'm the one that's left there, doing everything she used to do, babysitting Cindy & dealing with the daily chaos...5-6 days/week!!!

I LOVE KELLI!!!!  The pay rate was the issue!!  Cindy was never ok with paying her what she HAD to pay her when she was on salary.  She's not going to be ok with paying her almost the same basic pay rate at her diminished capacity.  For me...it was ALL about FAIRNESS.  I will never know what all Kelli knows.  But I'm the one that's there, in the trenches, daily.  Plain & simple...fairness.

I'm sorry me discussing this issue bothered you.  I'm sorry Kelli got hurt.  Maybe I should've confronted Kelli the moment Cindy told me the situation.  But I didn't...cuz it felt so completely out-of-character of her to me.  I was confused.  Cindy is no angel.  She forgets shit.  She makes stuff fit her own ideals.  Maybe she didn't tell me the whole truth.

At this point...IT DOESN'T MATTER!!  What's done is done.  Regardless...my mind will never change as far as just because she has so much experience, she should be entitled to a pay rate that I, myself, can NEVER touch!  She was my teacher.  She was my predecessor.  I don't think badly of her.  I didn't "take Cindy's side".  I was confused & dumbfounded.  That's the end of it.  I don't like how it happened.  I also don't like being judged or feathers being ruffled AFTER THE FACT.  Water under the bridge...

And with THAT...my blog has successfully been moved to another site.  CYA Blogger!

Moving the Blog...

So...after a while of thinking about it...I've decided I'm probably going to move my blog elsewhere.  I'd 1st considered it a couple of months ago, trying to escape Sara's prying eyes...plus those of her cronies.  Lately, everyone in my FB group has been sharing their blogs...& they're all on the same one...not Blogger.  So I think I will move to be with them...

I've been here at Blogger since Feb '09.  I escaped Seattle in Dec '08...got fed up with Flagstaff in Feb '09.  The 1st thing I did when I "settled" in Florida was buy my laptop.  This blog was the 1st thing I created once I got that.  I've been here a LONG time...& have been through quite a bit of MESS in that time.  It's time for a change...

Anyone who reads this blog that wants the new one...message me & I'll send you the new address.  Ok, well not just anyone...but you know what I mean!  :-p  So long, Blogger...thank you for giving me my 1st outlet.  :-)

Broken Promise?

The other day...(I don't really remember when--a few days ago...Thursday-ish??) I noticed on FB that Lee is now "in a relationship" with Don.  Kinda gutted me.  :/  They've been dating for a few months already anyway...I've known that!  I think it was just the fact that she announced it on FB...COMPLETELY out-of-character for her to do!  *sighs*  Yes, I'm a bit jealous.  He's jealous of me, too, though.  Ugh.  But that wasn't the reason really.  I dunno how to explain it.  :/  Then yesterday, I saw on my News Feed that he'd made a status about her being home from surgery; doing well & resting.  WTF?!  o.0  She PROMISED she'd tell me if/when that happened again!!  To say I was devastated...is putting it mildly!  :-(  I messaged her before I went to work.  No answer.  So I messaged again after I'd gotten home.  Still...no answer.  At this point, all of the feelings I've been rebuilding for her again has pretty much been shut down.  A combination of the 2 incidents, I'm sure.  I simply CAN'T go back down this road again!!  EVER.  So it stops here.  I'll always be her friend.  That's a given.  But no more "I love you", no more planning a visit, no more letting her feed my Domme void.  None of it.  *sighs*  I.  Just.  Can't.

Annie is in the process of getting her & Brittany moved down here, to where her family is.  I sincerely think she'll regret that move!  I've known her for 5 years & she's ALWAYS complained about her dad & brother being overly "religious" & uptight, etc.  I can't imagine she'll be ok with that...& with Boo being raised around that.  I tried to talk her into moving in with me.  I've made several off-handed comments both in regular FB & in the group...that she doesn't respond to.  :/  Whatever.  I've stopped trying with that, too.  It would've been a WIN-WIN situation for both (all 3) of us if she'd moved in here...  :-(

So with my spirits being wounded over Kelli, Annie & Lee...not to mention, I'm STILL battling Sara's memory...I've been pretty down this last week.  *pouts*  I can FEEL it, weighing me down, making me sad.  But not much I can really do about it...

Yesterday, just before I left work, I cracked my knee on the Cash Rack bookshelf.  OWWWWWW!!!!  I have trouble with my knees anyway...but everyone KNOWS how it hurts when you hit them.  There was a guy standing pretty close to me when I did it, so I played it off like I was just bent over, studying which books to put away next.  When, in all actuality, I was applying pressure to my knee & attempting to keep the tears at bay while my stolen breath slowly came back to me.  :-(  It hurt like a MOFO!!!  Ow...ow...owwww!!!  Today...there's a big bruise there & it hurts every time I touch it.  :/

Bud is still tiling.  I think he's almost completed the 2nd bedroom.  Still needs to do the laundry room.  But I'm REALLY thinking hard about going ahead & having my House-Warming Party before the end of the month.  I'm also considering (heavily) having Book Club here next Wednesday night.  I haven't exactly decided yet.  If I can manage to do some spot cleaning today & tomorrow, I may call Karen & have her spread the word for Wednesday...

Anyway...being down, I feel like I need to be proactive & make myself involved in things that will lift my spirits.  But the bigger part of me just wants to hide for a while...bleh...

Surprises...

So, yeah...the weed I had last night...only smoked half of it (it was bigger than the last one) & it was FINE!  I went right to sleep & slept all night!  ;-)  Well, I woke up at 7 instead of at 8 with my alarm...but at least it wasn't 5:30 like usual!!  hehe

Got to work at 9:30...Cindy STILL told me I was early!  ROFL!!  *shrugs*  Cindy & Karen left for a while to run to Habitat for Humanity to check out some shelving units.  When they came back, Cindy walked in carrying this lamp that she'd gotten for me at KMart last night!  haha  The shade is giraffe print & it goes PERFECTLY with the rest of my decor!  :D

Cheryl, the vet, came by to do the boys' checkups & get their yearly shots (required by law since they are in a business).  Ink was 1st.  I held him while Cheryl worked with him.  He was not happy about it!  When she was done, he curled up in a ball in my arms & whined for several minutes.  Broke my heart!!  :-(  Then he decided he wanted to get away.  Then it was Smudge's turn!  He was fine til that last shot & then he jumped & hissed at Cheryl...scratching my arm slightly in the process.  :/  They're both just over 12 lbs...with Ink having just a few ounces on Smudge.  BIG, Healthy Boys!!  :-)

It stormed most of the afternoon so we weren't very busy at all.  I've started (as of yesterday), when I have the time for it, as I'm processing books that are coming in, I'm putting them into Anthology & stickering them. I'm hoping by the time we actually get to Room 4, a lot of stuff will already be in the system.  That's the plan anyway!  :-p

Just had my bath...now I'm gonna finish my last book club book for the month.  My Life as a White Trash Zombie by Diana Rowland.  I've liked it!  It's funny...& no mushy, crappy sex &/or falling in love BS...YAY!!!  hahahaha  :D  Manda wants a poster of the cover art to put in her bathroom!  :-p

Then I'll finish off the weed & go to sleep!  ;-)

Mistakes...

Everyone makes mistakes!!  Why did yours have to be ME though...?!

Long Thursday...

Just me today.  Well, I had Lori & Claire but Claire spent the majority of the day putting flats away.  Karen came in around 2 pm.  But I ran the store by myself & it got a little overwhelming a few times.  lol

My plan for tomorrow is to go in around 10, if I can sleep that late.  Claire brought me a joint & said Cindy told her to do it so that I'd sleep!  ROFL!!!  They're conspiring against me!!  :-p

Susan came in with the girls.  She looked so tired!  :/  And Sophia was super HYPER!  She'd just come from her 18 month check-up & had gotten shots.  She was amped!  haha  I finally took her for a bit so Susan could catch her breath.  ;-)  I feel so bad for her.  I can't even imagine how her life has been turned upside down with Todd passing away.  :-(

After work, Karen & I went to Chili's for food & adult beverages!  :D  It was nice.  Just talked the whole time.  I almost choked to death at one point...but I finally got over it.  :-p  Was embarrassing though!  Ugh...lol.  Then we stood outside & talked for a long while more.  We were both sweating to death...haha.  She needed to get out & just be for a little while.  And I always enjoy hanging out...even when I'm exhausted!  *snorts*

I got home around 8:30ish.  Cold shower cuz I'm so freaking hot!  Now, I'll read a chapter or 2 then take some hits off this thing to see if it'll put me out.  Just hope it's not like the last one!  *dies laughing*

True End of Era...

Kelli called this morning & asked if Cindy was there.  She was but she didn't wanna talk to her.  lol  So then Kelli said she'd be stopping by shortly. Yikes!  o.0  Cindy & I both were on pins & needles, waiting for her.  She got there at 10.  She handed Cindy her store key & told her she simply couldn't do this anymore.  It just wasn't profitable for her.  o.0  She took her flamingo (it has seasonal clothes that we dress it in) & left.  No drama.  No waterworks.  No blaming.  It was GREAT!  :-)  Cindy & I did a collective sigh of relief when she left.  After she left, I texted her & told her I still love her.  ;-)  So I now have her key...to give to Manda.  haha  But she's not coming in tomorrow...next Thursday.  Thursdays aren't really bad at all unless I get magazines in & then it gets a little hectic somewhat.  Manda already had plans for tomorrow so I told her not to worry about it.  I could handle it.  ;-)

Cindy had me balance yesterday's monies & then do the Deposit.  To get me more practice with doing it all.  Then she called her store credit card company & had them add me as a signer to the account.  I'll get my card in the mail in 7-10 days.  BASICALLY, she did that so I'd have it for the SIBA trip...for gas & such...& she wouldn't be without it for the 5 days I'm gone.  But she also did it so I can use it to buy supplies when necessary & also if I buy books anywhere.  She also gave me a copy of our tax-exempt notice to use when buying books.  :-)

So...yeah, I think that pretty much completes Kelli & fully puts me into my position.

By the time I got home, I was just utterly exhausted!  I couldn't really figure out why for a long while.  Then it dawned on me.  I've been steeling myself against the Kelli drama for the last 5 or 6 days.  Now it's finally over & I can breathe freely again.  ;-)  Drama & emotional stress wears me out & wears me down!  I HATE drama!!!  That's why I always tried so hard to get Sara to understand me or understand what I meant by what I said...just so the fucken drama would STOP!!  Grr.  But whatever.

Text Drama!

Kelli started texting Cindy today.  To make a long story short, Kelli was just getting even more ridiculous as things went on.  *sighs*  I simply DON'T get it!  Anyway...it was kinda left with us (Cindy & I) in limbo...cuz Kelli won't just say she's done & leave us.  :/

Cindy sent me to the bank at 10 am to be put on the store's account as a signer...removing Kelli as a signer.  Then she kinda walked me through doing Payroll.  Says I'll do it this month & next month so that I can handle it alone when she's gone the end of September.  It's not hard...mostly just repetitive.  I just haven't actually DONE it enough to see how it works & be confident in it.  lol

Cindy also had me fill out the Registration paperwork for SIBA & fax that in.  She'd already made Reservations at the Hotel for Fri-Mon (instead of Thur-Tue like originally thought).  Friday is ok cuz it's not REALLY a part of SIBA itself...it's like what Stacy & I went to last year--an entire day of "class"...lol.  Talking with Manda...she & I decided to ask Cindy if we could stay Monday night, too...& come home Tuesday.  We'd split the cost of the room ($134) & reimburse her for it.  Manda wants sightseeing time in Charleston cuz we're done with SIBA, "officially" as of 2 pm Monday.  Then on the way home, we'll drive through Savannah, GA & stop there for a bit to sightsee.  ;-)  Manda & I are getting SUPER excited!  Yes, SIBA is a BRUTAL Conference to attend but it's fun, too.  And not ONLY that...we're basically getting to go on a Road Trip together...& even sightsee!!  hehehehe  YAY!!!  I can't wait!!  :D

After work, I went to Manda's for dinner.  She made Stuffed Shells...my favorite!  ;-)  Her cousin, Seann,...his 2 little girls (Skylar & Malea) were there & then he dropped in to pick them up.  Kelli started texting me about this "situation" finally...& I was honest with her about my feelings of it.  Manda said it was a tiny bit brutal...but completely honest.  And she's NOT happy there...we can't pay her what she wants...blah, blah, blah.  Kelli ended up texting Manda, too.  Told her she was gonna cry...that she was gonna quit the store for good now.  Which is all well & good...but she hasn't said that to ME yet...OR Cindy!  And Cindy is the one she needs to tell!  *sighs*  She's due to come in Thursday cuz Cindy is off.  I'm hoping she texts her tomorrow & just quits.  Stop all the fucken drama!  I love her to bits!!  But she's making us & herself unnecessarily miserable!  :/  Just LET IT GO...*sighs*  We'll be alright...I promise!  :/

Apathy...

Your apathy strangles me...I can't explain myself at all!!  And, yes...it STILL hurts...*sighs*

Winds of Change...AGAIN!

So...I texted Cindy around noon, to find out if there was any fallout with Kelli, etc.  That one text turned into SEVERAL with her & also with Manda!  LOL  Basically...Kelli told Cindy she'd work today at $10/hr.  As for the future...she'd "let us know".  WTF?!  o.0  No idea!!!  Something is going on with her...this doesn't sound like her at all!  Best that Manda & I can conclude...is that she's busy enough with her Amazon business that she doesn't wanna be at the store anymore.  BUT...she feels guilty & like she should be loyal to us & still help.  This is THE wrong way to go about getting out of her obligations!!  o.0  I dunno.  I haven't attempted to talk to her about it yet.  I'm afraid...that I'd tell her she's being stupid.  And I don't wanna do that!  I LOVE KELLI!  I miss her.  But...what she's attempting to do is stupid & selfish & she doesn't deserve what she's asking for.  *sighs*  :/  I dunno.  Anyway...the rest of the texting was basically nailing down the idea that Manda & I will go to SIBA in September & Cindy will man the store.  It's not a boy weekend for Manda & she can get her homework assignments for her classes beforehand so that she doesn't fall behind by missing 2 days of classes.  She'll drive her car up there.  She wants to do some sightseeing, too, since she's never been to Charleston either.  lol  All in all...it'll be a lot LESS stress being me & Manda than it would be me & Cindy! *snickers*  So...I'm actually starting to get excited about it at this point!  ;-)  Cindy is going to do the actual reservations tomorrow...she wanted to wait til I was there.

As for Kelli...I'm stumped!!  :/  Should I try to talk to her?!  I just don't know.  I guess I'll let it stew for a little while longer...

Just Dawned on Me...

That's my 3 deaths in a row.  :/  Chris, June 10.  Todd, June 14.  And Mrs. J, July 9.  Well, hopefully...that's it for a while!!

Never Forget Mrs. J!!

I'm spending too much time thinking today.  So I'm going to nap soon...to stop the thinking.  :-p  I got the news that my elementary school teacher passed away yesterday morning.  She was one of those eternally joyous entities that enters your life for a little while & while she may physically leave, she's always a part of you.  She was the one that bred my LOVE of music.  1-5 grade, daily music class.  4th & 5th grade, I was in the choir.  I remember the tryouts.  I was refusing to do it...cuz I knew I couldn't carry a tune in a bucket!  She made everyone leave the room & she hid behind the stage curtain & she said to me..."Baby, you sing to me...or to whoever you want to...nobody is here.  It's just you & your spirit."  I sang to her.  I was horrible!  And she put me in the choir.  ;-)  She lived 2 houses down from me from 1st grade until I left that town at 25.  She was a part of my world for so long--a constant figure.  And after I stopped seeing her, I always still felt her.  It utterly amazes me how someone can affect who you are SO greatly!!  So...I sang to her this afternoon...& I STILL can't carry a tune in a bucket!  But I know she's there, hiding behind that curtain, listening to me & smiling that huge smile of hers.  50+ years of teaching children music...there is a fantastically GRAND choir singing her home right now...  ~  ♥❤♥❤♥  ~

Her car looked like this.  She had the same car since the day I met her!  EVERYONE in town automatically knew her on sight!!  Those were the days...

Stoned!

Ok, so like I said last night...I'd gotten some stuffs from Claire.  Uh huh.  WOW!  hahaha  SOOO wasn't expecting those results!  ;-p  It's not like I smoke a lot, ya know?  I can still count on 2 hands how many times I have.  Halloween had me crawling the freaking walls!  Once with Manda just made me uber sleepy & VERY talkative!  lol  The other times...I really didn't feel much...maybe a bit drowsy but that's about it.  DUDE!!!  haha Ok, so while smoking it, I was having issues.  I had to keep relighting it.  It was about to aggravate me.  :-p  Once I finally finished it off...I was like...well, that was a waste of time!  I felt nothing.  However, about 10-15 minutes later...my lips & cheeks started this numb-tingly sensation thingy & I was like...hmm...!  Then my lungs/rib cage started feeling cold & heavy.  Then the rest of my skin got that numb-tingly sensation.  Then I started getting super sleepy & I SWEAR it felt like I was DRUNK!  lol  I couldn't walk straight or properly...I was just completely woozy.  So I laid down...thinking it was nite nite time...lol...& then I got WICKED horny!  AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!  So...umm...*blushes*...let's just say...BEST uhh...self-indulgence..*smirks*...EVER!!!!!  WHOA!!!  hahahaha  Good gawd!!!  *snorts*  It took about 15 minutes to calm my breathing back down!  :-p  But once I did, I was OUT like a light!!  And slept like a freaking log til about 4:15 am.  Got up to pee & went right back to sleep til the alarm went off at 6:30.  :D

I messaged Manda about this experience later in the morning.  She was laughing at me.  :-p  Said that Claire always has the GOOD shit!  ;-)  And, according to Cindy, Claire would easily be my "dealer" if I ever decided to go down that road.  Makes me ponder things...*chuckles*

Anyway, the carefreeness of the morning swiftly faded.  Kelli had called.  I answered.  We chatted a few & then she asked for Cindy.  Now while they were talking, Cindy mentioned (several times) "Mel's 2 day vacation".  I was completely lost!  WTF?!  I have no vacation scheduled!  o.0  When she got off the phone, I asked what she was talking about.  She said something about it meaning my Sun & Mon off...something...talking in circles & then she just shut down & said she didn't wanna talk about it...cuz Kelli & I are friends.  Ok, then I was REALLY confused!  Huh?!?!  I finally drug it out of her...this is so bizarre!

Last night, Kelli texted Cindy, indicating that her paychecks have been wrong.  Implied that Cindy misunderstood their agreement when she went down to 1 day/week in March.  Kelli says she's supposed to be paid her old salary rate (monthly salary divided by 160 hrs = hourly rate).  Cindy says she told her that she had no problems still helping out 1 day/week but couldn't go lower than $10/hr...& THAT'S what she's been paying her.  Cindy even told me that at the very beginning, while we were discussing me going on salary.  But here's the KICKER!!  Kelli wants BACK PAY now...for the last 3 months!!  Are you fucken kidding me?!  Dumbfounded doesn't even begin to cover it!!  1st of all, NONE of this sounds like Kelli!!  It sounds more like it's coming from John or something.  No clue.  Secondly, Kelli's salary was outrageous!  She was getting the "daughter of the owner" salary...not anything feasible...& Cindy had to grandfather her in upon the sale of the business (yes, it was part of the "deal").  So putting her back on hourly was a massive relief for Cindy!  Now...3rd...she works ONE DAY A WEEK!  If that!!!  That does not warrant a pay rate of $17/hr!!

Just...absolutely...flabbergasted!!  o.0

I totally agree with Cindy.  We came up with the above 3 points together.  Kelli is due to come in on Mon cuz I'm off & it'll just be Cindy & Claire there.  Kelli felt the need to fill in.  It was HER idea!  Cindy is just beside herself about what to do about the situation.  I told her...simply tell Kelli...she CAN'T pay her that kind of pay rate...plain & simple!  The reasons can come up if/when she debates it.  I also told Cindy DO NOT give her back pay either.  Kelli knew that 1st month if something was wrong.  IF it had been, she would've (needed to) said something right away!  3 months later...sorry about your luck!!  Seriously?!  I told Cindy I've been thinking the last month or so that we're getting to the point where we really don't even need her there anyway. :/  We've got this.  And if something happens, well, we deal with it.  Usually meaning somebody doesn't get a day off.  *shrugs*  It is what it is.  So if Kelli decides to walk...LET her!  At this point, we're not really losing a valuable person.  We lost her 3 months ago...

I also told Cindy that I'd been thinking about SIBA & have pretty much decided I'd just stay here & run the store.  Kelli can't...won't...work 5 days straight.  Cindy said she'd been thinking the same thing & asked if I thought Manda would be willing to step in.  lol  I just laughed!!  ;-)  Manda had actually offered to do just that a couple of days ago.  ;-)  Then Cindy went on to say that she'd be perfectly fine if Manda also wanted to start that one day a week that Kelli was supposed to be doing.  Heh!  ;-p

So I texted Manda, all cryptic-like...lol...told her we needed to chat later!  :-p

I left work at 4:15.  Cindy was still going strong, with several customers in the store!  We were supposed to close at 4...lol.

I went to CATO & got 3 tank tops that I'd been debating for a week.  :-p  I don't buy clothes very often.  It stays horribly hot at work cuz of poor insulation & Cindy keeps the air at minimal to avoid a $1000 bill.  But I'd decided I'd swallow my embarrassment of wearing tanks in public (aside from the beach) in order to be a little bit more comfortable at work.  PLUS...I wanna show off my arm now, too!  *giggles*  I've gotten SO many random compliments on it from people everywhere I go...& it's not even finished yet!  :D

I finally got home & Manda called when her phone recharged.  I told her about Kelli & the day & Cindy asking her to come back basically.  hehe  She was just as bewildered as I am about Kelli's actions.  She totally agrees with what Cindy & I think.  It's just so freaking bizarre!  So, I guess we're just in limbo at the moment...til we find out what Kelli is gonna do.  :/  And yes, she'd come back to work at the store 1 day a week (but not Thurs cuz she'll be in class as of late August).  :D

After I hung up with her, I went to Wal-Mart.  Returned 3 shirts that Mom had gotten me the other day & got 3 tanks, 3 shorts & new jammies.  :-)  Grabbed dinner & came home.

I think I'm getting sleepy now.  :-p

Own Personal Coffee...

Busy day!  Bleh.  Cindy left at 4:30 to go play Grandma while Todd & Jackie went out for "date night".  They won't get many more of those soon...she is "officially" pregnant again!  lol  Due in March, I think.  I've not been sleeping well this week.  Claire says I have dark circles under my eyes.  :/  haha  So...she had a lil sumpin-sumpin in her car, rolled it & brought it to me before she left at 5.  :-p  I closed the store at 6:15...before anyone else could drop in.  I was tired!  *smirks*

Grabbed dinner on the way home.  Checked FB.  Michelle wanted me to call her so I did.  Then a bath.  Now gonna start my 2nd book for book club this month.  I'll hit on that "coffee" here in a bit...then hopefully sleep!  ;-)

Explosion Video...

It's been moved to YouTube now...lol

SIBA's Coming...

Cindy got info in the mail today...so then she asked me if I wanted to go with her to SIBA this year.  Sept 15-20 in Charleston, SC.  I said "Sure" but...I really don't think Kelli will want to hold down the store that long & I remember the stories from Kelli & Manda last year...about building bridges behind her the whole time.  Yeah, I went last year but just the 1st day & it was just a class on online advertising, etc.  I didn't get the FULL effect of SIBA.  I dunno.  That's months down the road...lol...*shrugs*

About 2:30 pm this afternoon, Manda texted me.  Wanted to hang out for a bit tonight.  And Stacy, too!!   I left work about 5:15, went to Manda's.  Then went with her to drop Dylan at work & then we went to Publix to grab munchies.  Stacy got to the house a few minutes after we got back.  We sat around, shot the shit, had "coffee", ate.  It was GREAT!  What a way to get downtime!!  :-)  We don't get together near often enough!!  Stacy & I left at 8:30.  I should be in bed by now...but I'm still up...ugh...lol

Choice...

You've made your choice & it's clear it doesn't involve me.  Luckily I'm not too affected by it since I was only a friend of convenience anyway...

It Snuck Up On Me!

Fuck me!  *sighs*  I'm missing her.  *sighs heavily*

There's been several instances today.  In the group, Amber had a thread going about finally letting go of her crazy stalker-bitch.  David had commented about it being a good thing that she's now left with stable & non-stalkerish women in her life.  I commented that...at this point...I would take crazy & stalkerish!  Not that I mean that...but...just to have someone there.  I'm lonely at the moment.  And I'm missing her.  The 2 go hand in hand.

Later, Amber had a status that said "Love isn't about finding the perfect person to love but loving the imperfect person you've found."  David commented that it meant there was hope for the rest of us then.  My comment was that there was no hope for me...that I've been there...& tried that.  Amber commented that life was too short for me to just give up after trying once.  My retort was that yes...at least, for the next 10 years or so.  *sighs*

Now I'm crying over a Drop Dead Diva episode.  Fred was doing karaoke of Baby I Need Your Loving.

I just...*sighs*...I dunno.  July 11 will be the 4 year mark.  July 12 will be a month since I've heard from her.  July 14...is the day that I bound my heart & soul to Her.  I'm still VERY MUCH angry at her for being unwilling & unable to just communicate with me!!  But I miss my best friend something agonizing.  A part of me is empty.  This is the 1st I've cried over her this time.  It's taken...what...3 weeks?!

I absolutely don't want to talk to her.  I'm well aware there's NO point in that!  She'll NEVER be able to communicate.  She'll NEVER be able to not just abandon me.  She'll NEVER be the person she used to be again.  I'm just in a moment of weakness right now.  And it hurts...

It'll pass...

Babin's Boo-Boo!

I got a pic of my friend, Babin's, 4th of July


boo-boo via text this afternoon!  The slight 


burn on his leg is so minimal due to his iPhone 


taking the brunt of impact...yes, it's totally 


fried!  lol  I'm just thankful this is the worst 


that happened that night!!

Tomorrow You Didn't...

Tomorrow you didn't.  Yesterday you won't.  Cause I know everything you say you're gonna do, you won't.  That's a given!  It doesn't matter anyway...